nunu

The mail had a curious smell, as though it had been laundered in a bath of Natural Instincts shampoo. The offender was not that issue of Modern Bride, but a small padded envelope containing the tiniest vial (vile) of perfume. “Ageless,” it was called, and it proclaimed itself to be the “world’s first anti-aging perfume.” What is the secret of youth, besides a cloying mix of pink grapefruit, mango, pomegranate, jasmine, musk and apple? Make yourself smell like a Jolly Rancher, Teen Spirit deodorant and shampoo. “It smells like a nice air freshener,” said the girl seated next to me.

They claim it will make you “feel 20 again,” that age before the stench of booze legally permeates from the pores of young women, when they’re more apt to smell like whiskey and keg parties. At 30, she will smell like a cosmopolitan, at 40 she will smell like a dirty martini, at 50 she will smell like a martini with a twist and at 60 she will smell like vodka on the rocks with a side of fresh squeezed orange juice. The secret to smelling young? Never grow old.