me: What recipe did you use for the cake?
Mom: I made it up.
me: What did you base it on?
Mom: Well, it’s from a mix, but I doctored it up.
me: How?
Mom: I substituted liquor for milk! Cognac and kahlua. I made the frosting with Godiva hot chocolate and coffee. I swirled the coffee around the kahlua bottle to make sure I got every last drop.
D.: In other words, there’s nothing that’s good for you in this cake. And instead of flour, you used cocaine.
Mom: That’s what I used instead of powdered sugar.
My girlfriend’s mother has a similar sense of humor, with plentiful references to cocaine and booze.